Deciding on the guest list

Well, I think we all know there’s a big day looming on the wedding front. Nope, Jeffrey and I haven’t yet set the date – though we are getting a little closer and think we know what we’re doing. But what we do know the date of is the Royal wedding. That of Wills and Kate or, if one wants to be proper, HRH Prince William of Wales, K.G. and Miss Catherine Middleton. Friday 29 April 2011. And everyone in the UK knows this as we get blessed with an extra Bank Holiday.

Yesterday the guest list for said big day was revealed when the Queen sent out the formal invitations – a white card gilded with gold in a pale brown envelope with the Queen’s initials die-stamped in gold below a crown.

I seem to remember, when the engagement was announced back in November 2010, a spokesman for the Royal wedding saying that Wills and Kate would be “mindful of the economic situation” and plan an ‘austerity wedding’.

aus·ter·i·ty (ô-str-t) n.pl.

1. The quality of being austere.
2. Severe and rigid economy: wartime austerity.
3. An austere habit or practice.

aus·tere (ô-stîr) adj.

1. Severe or stern in disposition or appearance; somber and grave: the austere figure of a Puritan minister.
2. Strict or severe in discipline; ascetic: a desert nomad’s austere life.
3. Having no adornment or ornamentation; bare: an austere style.

This leads me to conclude that “austerity wedding” denotes – a somber wedding with no ornamentation

Now, Jeffrey and I are planning an ‘austerity wedding’. Something with little fuss and personal homemade touches that don’t cost the earth. This also means a guest list of 50-60 at a push. However, it seems for the Royals this won’t suffice for an ‘austeriry wedding’. Not even 10 times this number is too much. Try 30 times plus some, then a sprinkling more, and a cherry on top.

Yep, the Queen has invited 1,900 people to the Royal Wedding. Ok, so apparently that’s just for the ceremony. But my guess is no blushing bride to be really wants to walk down an aisle with 1,850 people she doesn’t really want there watching her. Even if she does know full well she’s marrying the second in line to the throne. Of these nigh on 2000, 600 people have been invited to a lunchtime reception at Buckingham Palace, with 300 staying on for the ‘evening do’.

Some of the lucky lot cited to have been invited by Her Maj include:

  • David and Victoria Beckham – apparently on account of Wills and David working together on the England 2018 bid
  • Ben and Marina Fogle – “personal friends of the Prince and Miss Middleton”
  • Elton John (and I presume David Furnish and Zachary too)
  • Joanna Lumley (who doesn’t like Kate’s style)
  • Kanyeezy (really?) – one of the Prince’s ‘crazy dope’ favourite recording artists
  • The King of Bahrain – not a good idea, surely Ma’am?
  • The Kings of Saudi Arabia and Jordan
  • The Crown Prince of Abu Dhabi
  • The Sultan of Oman and the Sultan of Brunei
  • 1,000 friends and family of the couple – 1,000 friends and family? Is that even possible?
  • 200 members of the Government, Parliament and diplomatic corps – poor Ed Miliband is apparently only invited to the ceremony, whereas lucky ol’ SamCam get to attend 2/3 of the day. I guess that’s what you get for being top dog of the Government and not the opposition
  • 80 representatives of Wills’ charities

Some guest list, no?

Based on this, we’re changing course. The guest list for the marriage of Jeffers Kojo to Sophie Anne Kingo will herein consist of:

  • The woman from procurement at Cheshire West and Chester Council who I worked with on a work project from September to December 2010
  • Nyron Nosworthy, Defender for Sheffield Utd, and any WAG he has on the go –  (ok, albeit ex) “personal friend” of Jeffers Kojo
  • Some bloke who I don’t know but who probably sang at my Mum and Dad’s wedding – with his partner and adopted son
  • A woman who doesn’t like my style
  • Kanyeezy – one of Jeffers Kojo’s favourite recording artists
  • Colonel Gadaffi – dictator and thug, standing up against and killing his people who just want democracy. (The King of Bahrain being invited to Wills and Kate’s wedding makes me believe this type of guest is essential)
  • A variety of Queens – I feel women are playing a somewhat minor role in Wills and Kate’s guest list. I’d start with Dronning Margrethe of Denmark, Queen Beatrix of Holland, and Queen Sofia of Spain
  • The Crown Princesses Mary, Letizia and Victoria of Denmark, Spain and Sweden respectively
  • the Sultan from Aladdin
  • 1,000 members of our family (this includes cousins 10 times removed, second husbands/wives, and crazy old aunts we forgot were still around), and friends (including random acquaintances we both saw last five years ago)
  • 200 members of local and national government (hey, I’ve worked with a fair few)
  • 80 representatives from charities I’ve donated to in the past – Comic Relief; some random Pakistani/disabled/blind (delete as appropriate) children’s charities I’ve given money to in Bethnal Green underground station these past two and a half years; Children in Need; St John’s Ambulance; DEC; and so on.

And I think that might suffice. It looks like our “austerity wedding” may have just gone out of the window. But hey ho, I do get to say my vows in front of 1,850 people I’m not really fussed about being there I guess. A small trade off perhaps for marrying an Ashanti Prince…

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